Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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