HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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