Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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