I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
