There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
