Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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