Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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