im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
