wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
