How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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