I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
