So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
