you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
