I hate all girls vehemently.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
