Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
