is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
