just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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