That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
