I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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