you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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