dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
