turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
