Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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