so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
