he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
