I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
