awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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