sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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