Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
