I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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