Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
