I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
