Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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