when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
