fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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