That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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