Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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