It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
