Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude i'm inner monologue high
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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