Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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