can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just found a bag of teeth...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
