There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
