You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
