And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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