So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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