Kiss
Puke
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
