in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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