the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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