The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
