Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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