Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
