dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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